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Wedding Rituals

 Catholic Wedding


Introduction
A marriage between two Catholics is the solemnisation of the sacrament of matrimony that the couple administer to each other. Roman Catholic weddings normally take place during a Mass, when the bride and groom receive Holy Communion.

Wedding Attire
For the Bridegroom
Bridegrooms generally wear dark suits or tuxedos. In case the wedding is being held in the morning, the groom often wears a pastel jacket.

For the Bride
Traditionally the brides wear a long white bridal gown with train. The colour white symbolises purity. Nowadays some brides wear more practical dresses, saris, or even white embroidered lehengas or ghagra cholis. She covers her head with a delicate veil, and decks up her hair with white flowers. Brides are still attended on by the bridal troupe - bridesmaids, flower girls and page boys - as well as a matron of honour at times.

Pre-Wedding Rituals
Engagement
The groom and his family go to the bride's house. The bride and the groom exchange engagement rings blessed by the parish priest. This ceremony may not necessarily culminate in marriage. It only indicates the beginning of a period during which the boy and girl get to know each other. In case they decide to marry, it may be done within six months.

Preparing for the Marriage
The couple attend a Marriage Preparatory Course. They fill in a form giving details about themselves. They also take an oath on the Holy Bible that there is no misrepresentation of truth. The bride and the groom also show their baptism certificates. For three consecutive Sundays, in the church, the priest declares the decision of the boy and girl to marry. In case one of the parties has hidden or misrepresented some information, anyone can let it be made public during this period. The couple may marry only after the culmination of the three week period.

Bridal Shower
This function is performed by the bride's family. It is akin to the Ladies Sangeet function in Hindu weddings. The Bridal Shower is basically the last party the bride gives as a maiden and the invitees are all women. This is given as a token of appreciation for all the bridesmaids. The bride gives gifts to the bridemaids and serves a pink cake with a thimble hidden inside. Folk lore is that the girl who gets the piece of cake with the thimble, will be the next to marry.

The Bachelor Party
The bridegroom hosts this party on the eve of the wedding for his usherers/friends. This is a stag party and the groom is expected to enjoy his last night as a bachelor. It is customary to raise a toast before the drinking begins in earnest.

The Wedding Procession
On the wedding day, the bridegroom reaches the church first and await his bride there. The mantra kodi (a set of bridal wear given by the groom) is placed on the altar with the wedding rings. One small gold cross (called minn) is threaded on seven threads taken from the mantra kodi and placed with the wedding rings. As the bride arrives at the church, the best man - from the bridegroom's party - greets her with a kiss and her wedding bouquet. The procession to the church is usually in one of these ways:
• The priest may greet the couple at the door of the church, bless them, and lead them in. (or)
• The bride may proceed up to her waiting bridegroom at the altar on her father's arm for
   symbolically the last time. (or)
• The bride may walk in alone to her bridegroom at the altar, preceded by first the page boys
   and flower maids, the bridesmaid-best man pairs, and followed by a single bridesmaid
   carrying her train or veil.

Rite of Introduction
The priest welcomes the bride and the groom into the Church, the House of God, to start the ceremony. The bride and the groom are welcomed into the church with a special song sung by the choir. Two chairs (usually decorated) are placed in front of the altar for the bridal couple.

Last Supper
Hymns are sung and readings from the Bible are read. The couple has selected these hymns and readings. The readings usually are - the Old Testament one about Eve being wrought from the rib of Adam, or the Biblical exhortations that both husband and wife treat each other with love and respect as long as they live. The priest, with help from others, enacts the last meal Jesus Christ had with his 12 apostles.

Homily
The priest delivers a sermon (Homily), a lecture about the sacrament of marriage. The priest's sermon will offer advice on how to keep love alive and how the couple should help each other grow in spiritually.

The Wedding Ceremony
The nuptial rites take place in front of at least two witnesses. The priest asks the couple if they have come freely and without reservation to give themselves to the other in marriage. He asks them if they will honour and love each other as husband and wife for the rest of their lives, if they will accept children from God lovingly and bring them up according to the law of Christ and His church. The couple answers in the affirmative. The bride and the groom are asked to join their right hands (symbolic of union). Then they individually declare their intention to take each other as man and wife with the famous lines 'I, xxx (i.e. name), take you, yyy (i.e. Name), to be my lawfully wedded wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, till death do us part', with the bride repeating the phrases with the relevant name and gender changes. The priest blesses them and tells them that "What God has joined, man must not divide". He blesses the joined hands with the Holy Water and also the rings. Then the couple put them on each other's fingers with these words - 'With this ring I thee wed, in the name of the father and of the son and of the holy spirit, Amen". They promise each other to be together in times of trouble, in times of strength, in times of joy and sorrow. They take a promise to love, respect and honour each other. The priest hands over the minn (blessed gold cross with thread) to the groom who ties it around the bride's neck. This ceremony is called minn khett. The blessed mantra kodi is given to the groom and he puts it on the head of the bride. At this point, the priest pronounces them man and wife. The groom may now kiss his new bride, usually lifting her veil for the honour. The mass proceeds with the prayers of the faithful - petitions for blessings on the couple - and an offertory procession. The couple brings offerings like The Bible and rosaries, a house made of thermocol, candles, flowers, fruits which are symbolic of a happy married life. The priest blesses them. He then gives them consecrated bread and wine which stand for the body and blood of Jesus Christ.

The communion service follows and the mass ends with the signing of the register which serves as a valid legal document of marriage. The copy of this document is sent to the Registrar of Marriages. The couple pose for photos at the altar with the bridal troupe and then walk down the aisle arm in arm to the strains of 'The Wedding March'. Nuptial masses are accompanied by a choir, which sings specially chosen joyful hymns, with perhaps a special solo at communion.

Post-Wedding Rituals
A reception is held to celebrate the wedding. Friends, relatives and colleagues are invited to a grand feast. A wedding cake is also cut. The newly wed couple dance the first dance at their wedding reception. Their dance is followed by the bride and her father/ groom and the bride's mother, the bride and the best man/ the groom and the maid of honour, the bride and the groom's father/ the groom and his mother. Usually before the reception a photographic session is held. After the marriage, the bridal couple leaves the church and proceeds either home or to a studio for the photographic session.

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